If you knew her, you either loved her or disliked her

Many of you knew my sister, Tracey, when she was in high school and lived in Cochran. Some of you liked her. Some of you didn't. That's OK, there were times where she and I didn't like each other either.

But, I gotta say for a sister when we were growing up, she was ALRIGHT.

In a few weeks, she will be celebrating in Heaven her 60th birthday. I am sure I will write something then - maybe. She was on my mind today.

And I had a minute.

In the last 20 years of her life, Tracey was a drug addict, and an alcoholic. She lived a life we were raised not to even think twice about doing. What is the word? Promiscuous? Yeah, the kind of life that would make your eyebrows raise.

She left her family, us, her beautiful girls and handsome boy and just did her own thing until the day she died - her body eat up with cancer and hard living.

It wasn't the Tracey we knew. She made some choices in her life that led her down the path. No one forced her, and it wasn't her DNA that made her do it. She chose that life. No excuses.

I was mad at her for the longest time. Before she died, I saw her and I told her that. She was sober that day. Her mind a little slower than it had been. But she was sober.

She looked at me and said, "I am sorry, baby sis."

She couldn't give me answers of why she did the way she did or why she left. It was just what she chose to do.

I miss her on days like this. I don't miss THAT Tracey. I miss the Tracey who taught me to drive, who would share her Dr. Pepper and chicken tenders and gravy from Dairy Queen with me, who taught me how to wear make up, about boys, how to scramble an egg, who baked delicious chocolate chip cookies, and who was bold and creative. I miss THE Tracey who would include me whenever she went places, who loved being a momma, who stood up for me when kids made fun of me, who I could laugh with, and share secrets with.

I think of the secrets we shared. Some of them were about some of you in high school days. Don't worry I have forgotten most of them.

That is the Tracey I choose to remember and miss. She was more than my sister, she was my best friend.

Thanks for letting me share. (I bet you have someone in your family like her. Feel free to share your story with me anytime!)

Oh, Tracey died in 2017. Someone asked me that recently. May 16. The exact day, 12 years before, that her birth mother passed away.